Giving Them Wood: My 5th Anniversary Tribute to Salome Cabaret

Modern burlesque often features satire, irony, and sociopolitical subtext alongside the choreography, sequins, and disrobing. I've used humor when writing about burlesque in the past, but today I mainly want to be earnest.

I love Salome Cabaret.

If you don't know, Salome Cabaret is a burlesque troupe in my hometown of Knoxville, TN. The troupe is five years old and it celebrates its anniversary this Friday, September 20.  I hope to be at their show, but since I suspect I will be very late if I can attend at all, I wanted to take a few minutes to say some nice things about them.

Kisa Von Teasa

Siren Santina

Siren Santina & Kisa Von Teasa: My life is better than it was five years ago because you two decided to band together to take your clothes off to music onstage. I continue to be inspired and driven to pursue my own creativity because of what you do. You have assembled a fine troupe of men and women, and even the newest students who are making their way into the group have presented memorable routines that speak well to your tutelage and vision. You have assembled a management team (Hi, John and Dustin) and anointed an assured emcee (Hi, Big Gay James) who all keep things running smoothly and professionally so that your audience never sees the hiccups that inevitably happen backstage. You are among the smartest and most interesting people I know and I am insanely proud to call you, and so many people who perform with you, my friends. I could single out many of them with happy memories and alcohol-infused laughter, but I haven't the words to do them all justice. That they share the stage with you says enough.

Salome Cabaret's most recent official cast photo

Salome Cabaret is something special. Knoxville is relatively small, as cities go, but having seen some of the best burlesque dancers and troupes in the country, Salome ranks near the top of any "best" lists both objective and subjective. Between the powerful homegrown performers generating new routines every month to their frequent and inspiring guests to their visiting all-star headliners, a Salome show is frequently the highlight of any given week to those in the know. They take the ridiculous and make it sublime, all while making hearts beat faster.

Salome Cabaret at Burlesque Hall of Fame Weekend 2013

So thank you Beelzabetty, Tiger Tangerine, Delinda d'Rabbit, Cougar Cantrell, Rosey Lady, Nipsy Tussle, Duchess Dakini, Peppy Schlongstocking, Foxey Sarcasm, Lydia Thorne, Pan d'Orable, Bunny Wigglebottom, Beary ManA-Tease, Starry DeLight, Georgia Sweetjuggs, Honey Demure, Ivana Rocket, Passion Pillows, Theda Van der Koil, and stage kittens Meowy Wowee and Cunty Brewster. You are amazing in all the colors of the spectrum. Just like glitter.

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Rise, Lazarus!

I don't write nearly enough about comic books, largely because I am often weeks or months behind on my reading, but some books I make a priority. I'm going to read them immediately, be it because of a trusted writer, a favorite artist, or a concept that intrigues me.

Sometime I get all of that stuff in one book, which is why Greg Rucka and Michael Lark's creator-owned opus Lazarus, published by Image Comics, has gone right to the top of the "to-read" pile.

Lazarus issue #1

I will admittedly buy almost anything Greg Rucka writes. He's a hell of a novelist, penning politically complex, socially-astute thrillers that still keeping the blood pumping, but he's also written Batman, Wonder Woman, The Question, and a variety of other super-heroes, and his takes on those characters have often been among the most creative and thoughtful iterations a reader could find. Artist Michael Lark, who previously collaborated with Rucka on the brilliant "Cops in Gotham City" comic Gotham Central, is a rare artist who can clearly tell a story peopled with characters who look distinct and real, make it visually appealing, and still have moments of POP when the story calls for it. They're something of a dream team, and I didn't even need to hear a premise to want to buy the book.

Lazarus issue #2

Lazarus happens in a near future when governments are all but extinct and power is held by families. These ultra-wealthy groups essentially control all the world's resources and employ a handful of people as the last vestiges of a middle class. Everyone else, well over 99% of the population, is considered "waste," to be ignored or kept down. Each family has a champion who is given every technological and biological advantage, making them exceptionally difficult to kill, and this enforcer is given the title of Lazarus. The Lazarus of the Family Carlyle is Forever, or Eve.

Lazarus issue #3

Eve begins the story as a loyal right arm for her family, but in the three issues of the comic that have been released, she is sensing that things aren't right, that there could be factions within her own family, and that even the people she likes and trusts may see her as little more than a means to an end. It is tough to review the beginnings of a book that will take years to complete, that has only hinted at its long-form potential, but I am thoroughly enjoying the elements that are in play: a legitimately strong female lead ("strong female character" can sadly often mean "unrealistically pneumatic woman who kills people and gets naked to illustrate her empowerment" in comic book parlance), a near-future dystopia that feels all-too gut-churningly possible, utterly credible forward-looking science fiction, and even hints of epic Shakespearean character interplay.

I will keep buying this book until the creators finish telling their story, and I will tell as many people as I can how enjoyable it is.

Now, one of the games fans play is the casting game, stoked in this case by the announcement that Ellen Page is in talks to topline Queen and Country as Tara Chace, one of Rucka's iconic creations.  Forever has the makings of another great character: tough, fair, moral, and conflicted. That said, as I've tossed this around in my head for the last couple of days, I simply cannot think of anyone else except Ivana Milicevic for the role in an extremely hypothetical Lazarus adaptation.  I continue to be blown away by the level of power, commitment, and nuance she shows in Banshee, particularly in the episode "We Shall Live Forever," where she both gives and takes one of the most epic beatdowns I've ever seen on a television screen. I certainly can't speak to any templates Michael Lark may have in his mind for Forever's creation, but when I read the comic every month, I'm going to see Forever looking something like this:

Ivana Milicevic, badass

Find me on Twitter: @TheOneWhoKnox

Oh, BHoF! (To Be Spoken Aloud In An Austin Powersesque Voice)

It's time again for the rundown of my visit to Las Vegas for the Burlesque Hall of Fame weekend (May 30 - June 2, 2013 at The Orleans hotel and casino)! I loved writing about my 2012 trip, and as I am (hopefully) a more informed and less awestruck correspondent this go-around, I hope I can not only spread some love for this fantastic event, but the Burlesque Hall of Fame which throws the whole damn soiree in the first place.

Which brings me to the point with which I've been wrestling, the reason this is being posted after a three month delay.  As time goes on, as I see more performances, meet more performers, and in some cases, befriend some performers, I am mindful that making a list of favorite performances can be skewed by perspectives beyond my appreciation of the act itself. That said, I am attempting to be objective, and claim these opinions as strictly my own. If nothing else, I hope to work to understand my own attraction to the art form (beyond seeing attractive ladies take their clothes off) and what acts I like or dislike and why. "Dislike" is not really appropriate for this particular weekend, though, as every act has been vetted and belongs on the stage for a variety of reasons.  The crazy thing to me is knowing the many amazing performers who do not make the BHoF stage. The long and short of it is that if you are interested in burlesque, there's a lot of good stuff to see in the world right now, and that's only a good thing.

Photo by Robert Paul Lewis

Once again, I have to disqualify some acts from consideration. Certain numbers, like the final night's act anchored by the amazing Stage Door Johnnies, or Jo "Boobs" Weldon's tribute to Sparkly Devil, are special because they're the sort of epic things that could ONLY happen at the Weekender and would sit at the top of the list by default.  I wanted to only consider acts that someone could conceivably read about, then go see at a local show if they are so geographically fortunate. Also, despite my growing appreciation for the art of boylesque (I spent some time hanging out with the aforementioned Stage Door Johnnies recently, and they can make disciples out of heretics), I decided to strictly stick with the ladies again. If you wish to appreciate the men, Trixie Little has you covered (while also making thoughtful points about homogenization in burlesque). I made this list more than once, and performers like Lada Redstar, Elektra Cute, Jessabelle Thunder, Coco Lectric, Sydni Devereaux, new Queen LouLou D'Vil, and the reigning Queen herself, Imogen Kelly, were brutally difficult to omit. So, with no further preamble:

MY FIVE FAVORITE BHOF 2013 PERFORMANCES 

Iva Handfull -Photo courtesy of Derek Jackson

IVA HANDFULL: I am going to start my top five with an act towards which I admittedly may be biased. Iva Handfull is one of the best people I know in burlesque. She just is. She is a such a badass onstage, but I have never seen her be less than gracious and even soft-spoken off it. She doesn't really have to say much, because her numbers are so damn strong that words have little effect in describing just how great they are. I love dressing up for shows and over the past three years have collected a number of Iva's custom "Haute Under The Collar" rhinestoned neckties. As a regular customer I've struck up a friendship with Iva, and she actually asked me to help her be sure the fans for this routine were show-ready before her call time (my day job sometimes deals with with putting things together and/or assuring they don't fall apart). I'll not say things went swimmingly, but in the interest of moving on I will say that when I left, Iva was happy that the fans were secure.  And they need to be secure, because unlike most fan dances, which are meant to be flowing and graceful almost exclusively, Iva Handfull makes a fan dance very ROCK AND ROLL. This one, set to Ministry's "Psalm 69," is a balls-out power performance highlighted by a creative reveal (as pictured above). There is a lot of talk about performers other than musicians being "rock stars," but if burlesque truly has rock stars then Iva Handfull is right at the top of the list.

Sizzling Sirens Burlesque - Photo courtesy of Richard Just

SIZZLING SIRENS BURLESQUE: I admittedly tend to gravitate to solo acts, but occasionally a duo or group will blow me away. Such was the case this year with Sizzling Sirens Burlesque and their classic, patriotic-themed, well-orchestrated romp to "Here Comes The Navy" by The Andrews Sisters giving way to a song I never thought I'd see translated in a burlesque show, the underground club banger by Prestige Worldwide, "Boats And Hoes." This was just so perfect and so pleasantly exuberant I was smiling and laughing the whole way through while being presented with burlesque in both its classic and its neo forms within the span of minutes. If we're just talking sheer enjoyment of a number, this simply hit every note I was looking for, perhaps only surpassed by the next performer.

Roxi D'Lite - Photo courtesy of Derek Jackson

ROXI D'LITE: I wrote in last year's wrap-up, "It is impossible to not fall a little bit in love with Roxi D'Lite." Between seeing Roxi headline the 2013 Southern Fried Burlesque Festival, finally watching the exceptionally fun film Burlesque Assassins in which she stars, and then getting knocked out with her "Midnight Cyrenade" act this year, I am now fully smitten. Not only is Roxi a bright ball of joy and positivity offstage, but "Midnight Cyrenade" is one of the most pure damn graceful and athletic numbers I have ever seen from a performer, and Roxi demolished it. Roxi was crowned Miss Exotic World, aka Reigning Queen of Burlesque, in 2010, and despite having attained the top title in the profession at a young age, she still pushes and tasks herself with being an even better performer every year. It is no accident that you never see a Cyr Wheel on a burlesque stage, because they're not easy to master, but Roxi brought one out and enslaved it. Roxi D'Lite is almost too much sexy and aspirational to be included in one human body, so I'm going to keep looking at her until she is proven to be a mirage or a fever dream.

Lola Frost - Photo courtesy of Harman House Productions

LOLA FROST: I have learned that, while I certainly enjoy the performers competing for the Queen title, the performances in that category are not always the most thrilling for me. In trying to hit certain technical marks and do it all within a short period of time, they don't always have the feeling of spontaneity I tend to enjoy in many acts. If I knew more about the complex aspects of performance I might well feel differently, but for the moment I just want to talk about Lola Frost.  She was all over the stage this year, with a Sweet Soul Burlesque group act and a duo act with Melody Mangler and she probably would have stage kittened if they had needed someone in a pinch.  She had my personal favorite routine among the Queen contestants, largely because, having seen a few of her acts this year, everything she does feels as if it could only be done by her. She combines technical acuity with a languorous sensuality, making everything feel vivid and alive while also blissfully post-coital. I believe Lola is a singular performer reaching an apex, and I am thrilled to have been around to witness this act, set to Massive Attack's "Paradise Circus" and lovingly costumed by Misty Greer. If Lola can continue to strike that balance between the freedom of life and the surrender to the so-called "Little Death," I'll be writing these musings about her for years to come.

Laurie Hagen - Photo courtesy of Richard Just

LAURIE HAGEN: Without a doubt, my favorite act this year was Laurie Hagen's now-infamous "Reverse Striptease" set to a version of Keep It Hid by Dan Auerbach . I keep coming back to burlesque because it genuinely shows me things I haven't seen before, or at least things I have seen before done in a new, brain-pleasing way. I've seen reverse stripteases, and I appreciate them for changing up the game a little bit, but they're relatively rare and they need a good concept or narrative to justify them. Normally, my favorite acts do involve narrative, as I just enjoy a good story. Laurie's act, though, is all concept and execution, and to say it is flawless is the only way to do it justice. Even though there was a technical miss involving a hat thrown from the rafters, I don't think anyone in the room cared. This act was so good and, yes, flawless, that people could choose to silently sit and genuflect or rise up in a wave of thunderous applause. We chose applause. Laurie won "Most Innovative" for this act, which for my money as an attendee is the most significant award of the competition. Now, months later, I still get a chill thinking about how Laurie Hagen made a whole room hold its breath for three minutes in Las Vegas in June.

There was a lot more to the weekend, and I could certainly fill up space with a tale about being trapped in a hotel elevator one night, or how much I enjoyed my time as a courtesan for the "7-10 Slits" bowling team at the Barecats Invitational even though we were nigh-unforgivably shut out of the major awards. So I'll just share a few more photos. Hopefully they will illustrate how much fun I had better than I can describe with another paragraph.

Until BHoF 2014, you can find me on Twitter @TheOneWhoKnox.

The 7-10 Slits: (L to R) Me, Tiger Tangerine, Bourgeois Betty, Lola LeSoleil, Bunny Wigglebottom, Siren Santina.

Horsing around in the Shops at Caesar's

Meeting Lola Frost. I highly recommend it.

There's more than enough of me to go around! I heart Salome Cabaret.

The Halo Effect: Hanging out with Roxi D'Lite

Post-Zumanity haze