My Outlaw Ways: Oh, BHoF! (To Be Spoken Aloud In An Austin Powersesque Voice)

It's time again for the rundown of my visit to Las Vegas for the Burlesque Hall of Fame weekend (May 30 - June 2, 2013 at The Orleans hotel and casino)! I loved writing about my 2012 trip, and as I am (hopefully) a more informed and less awestruck correspondent this go-around, I hope I can not only spread some love for this fantastic event, but the Burlesque Hall of Fame which throws the whole damn soiree in the first place.

Which brings me to the point with which I've been wrestling, the reason this is being posted after a three month delay. As time goes on, as I see more performances, meet more performers, and in some cases, befriend some performers, I am mindful that making a list of favorite performances can be skewed by perspectives beyond my appreciation of the act itself. That said, I am attempting to be objective, and claim these opinions as strictly my own. If nothing else, I hope to work to understand my own attraction to the art form (beyond seeing attractive ladies take their clothes off) and what acts I like or dislike and why. "Dislike" is not really appropriate for this particular weekend, though, as every act has been vetted and belongs on the stage for a variety of reasons. The crazy thing to me is knowing the many amazing performers who do not make the BHoF stage. The long and short of it is that if you are interested in burlesque, there's a lot of good stuff to see in the world right now, and that's only a good thing.

Photo by Robert Paul Lewis

Once again, I have to disqualify some acts from consideration. Certain numbers, like the final night's act anchored by the amazing Stage Door Johnnies, or Jo "Boobs" Weldon's tribute to Sparkly Devil, are special because they're the sort of epic things that could ONLY happen at the Weekender and would sit at the top of the list by default. I wanted to only consider acts that someone could conceivably read about, then go see at a local show if they are so geographically fortunate. Also, despite my growing appreciation for the art of boylesque (I spent some time hanging out with the aforementioned Stage Door Johnnies recently, and they can make disciples out of heretics), I decided to strictly stick with the ladies again. If you wish to appreciate the men, Trixie Little has you covered (while also making thoughtful points about homogenization in burlesque). I made this list more than once, and performers like Lada Redstar, Elektra Cute, Jessabelle Thunder, Coco Lectric, Sydni Devereaux, new Queen LouLou D'Vil, and the reigning Queen herself, Imogen Kelly, were brutally difficult to omit. So, with no further preamble:

MY FIVE FAVORITE BHOF 2013 PERFORMANCES

Iva Handfull -Photo courtesy of Derek Jackson

IVA HANDFULL: I am going to start my top five with an act towards which I admittedly may be biased. Iva Handfull is one of the best people I know in burlesque. She just is. She is a such a badass onstage, but I have never seen her be less than gracious and even soft-spoken off it. She doesn't really have to say much, because her numbers are so damn strong that words have little effect in describing just how great they are. I love dressing up for shows and over the past three years have collected a number of Iva's custom "Haute Under The Collar" rhinestoned neckties. As a regular customer I've struck up a friendship with Iva, and she actually asked me to help her be sure the fans for this routine were show-ready before her call time (my day job sometimes deals with with putting things together and/or assuring they don't fall apart). I'll not say things went swimmingly, but in the interest of moving on I will say that when I left, Iva was happy that the fans were secure. And they need to be secure, because unlike most fan dances, which are meant to be flowing and graceful almost exclusively, Iva Handfull makes a fan dance very ROCK AND ROLL. This one, set to Ministry's "Psalm 69," is a balls-out power performance highlighted by a creative reveal (as pictured above). There is a lot of talk about performers other than musicians being "rock stars," but if burlesque truly has rock stars then Iva Handfull is right at the top of the list.

Sizzling Sirens Burlesque - Photo courtesy of Richard Just

SIZZLING SIRENS BURLESQUE: I admittedly tend to gravitate to solo acts, but occasionally a duo or group will blow me away. Such was the case this year with Sizzling Sirens Burlesque and their classic, patriotic-themed, well-orchestrated romp to "Here Comes The Navy" by The Andrews Sisters giving way to a song I never thought I'd see translated in a burlesque show, the underground club banger by Prestige Worldwide, "Boats And Hoes." This was just so perfect and so pleasantly exuberant I was smiling and laughing the whole way through while being presented with burlesque in both its classic and its neo forms within the span of minutes. If we're just talking sheer enjoyment of a number, this simply hit every note I was looking for, perhaps only surpassed by the next performer.

Roxi D'Lite - Photo courtesy of Derek Jackson

ROXI D'LITE: I wrote in last year's wrap-up, "It is impossible to not fall a little bit in love with Roxi D'Lite." Between seeing Roxi headline the 2013 Southern Fried Burlesque Festival, finally watching the exceptionally fun film Burlesque Assassins in which she stars, and then getting knocked out with her "Midnight Cyrenade" act this year, I am now fully smitten. Not only is Roxi a bright ball of joy and positivity offstage, but "Midnight Cyrenade" is one of the most pure damn graceful and athletic numbers I have ever seen from a performer, and Roxi demolished it. Roxi was crowned Miss Exotic World, aka Reigning Queen of Burlesque, in 2010, and despite having attained the top title in the profession at a young age, she still pushes and tasks herself with being an even better performer every year. It is no accident that you never see a Cyr Wheel on a burlesque stage, because they're not easy to master, but Roxi brought one out and enslaved it. Roxi D'Lite is almost too much sexy and aspirational to be included in one human body, so I'm going to keep looking at her until she is proven to be a mirage or a fever dream.

Lola Frost - Photo courtesy of Harman House Productions

LOLA FROST: I have learned that, while I certainly enjoy the performers competing for the Queen title, the performances in that category are not always the most thrilling for me. In trying to hit certain technical marks and do it all within a short period of time, they don't always have the feeling of spontaneity I tend to enjoy in many acts. If I knew more about the complex aspects of performance I might well feel differently, but for the moment I just want to talk about Lola Frost. She was all over the stage this year, with a Sweet Soul Burlesque group act and a duo act with Melody Mangler and she probably would have stage kittened if they had needed someone in a pinch. She had my personal favorite routine among the Queen contestants, largely because, having seen a few of her acts this year, everything she does feels as if it could only be done by her. She combines technical acuity with a languorous sensuality, making everything feel vivid and alive while also blissfully post-coital. I believe Lola is a singular performer reaching an apex, and I am thrilled to have been around to witness this act, set to Massive Attack's "Paradise Circus" and lovingly costumed by Misty Greer. If Lola can continue to strike that balance between the freedom of life and the surrender to the so-called "Little Death," I'll be writing these musings about her for years to come.

Laurie Hagen - Photo courtesy of Richard Just

LAURIE HAGEN: Without a doubt, my favorite act this year was Laurie Hagen's now-infamous "Reverse Striptease" set to a version of Keep It Hid by Dan Auerbach . I keep coming back to burlesque because it genuinely shows me things I haven't seen before, or at least things I have seen before done in a new, brain-pleasing way. I've seen reverse stripteases, and I appreciate them for changing up the game a little bit, but they're relatively rare and they need a good concept or narrative to justify them. Normally, my favorite acts do involve narrative, as I just enjoy a good story. Laurie's act, though, is all concept and execution, and to say it is flawless is the only way to do it justice. Even though there was a technical miss involving a hat thrown from the rafters, I don't think anyone in the room cared. This act was so good and, yes, flawless, that people could choose to silently sit and genuflect or rise up in a wave of thunderous applause. We chose applause. Laurie won "Most Innovative" for this act, which for my money as an attendee is the most significant award of the competition. Now, months later, I still get a chill thinking about how Laurie Hagen made a whole room hold its breath for three minutes in Las Vegas in June.

There was a lot more to the weekend, and I could certainly fill up space with a tale about being trapped in a hotel elevator one night, or how much I enjoyed my time as a courtesan for the "7-10 Slits" bowling team at the Barecats Invitational even though we were nigh-unforgivably shut out of the major awards. So I'll just share a few more photos. Hopefully they will illustrate how much fun I had better than I can describe with another paragraph.

Until BHoF 2014, you can find me on Twitter @TheOneWhoKnox.